Download 5,000 Great One Liners by Grant Tucker PDF

By Grant Tucker

Whether advised within the rugby golf equipment of Wales or the gentlemen's golf equipment of London, their sharpness and ease unites us all. brief, candy and wickedly smart, they carry a different position within the annals of comedy, and because the upward thrust of Twitter heralds a resurrection of the artwork shape, there turns out no greater time to have fun the immortal one-liner. during this e-book, furnish Tucker does simply that, bringing jointly 5,000 of the funniest one-liners ever instructed in a single definitive quantity. Laugh-out-loud humorous, 5,000 nice One-Liners has all of the quips, zingers, puns and wisecracks you are going to ever desire – and a complete lot extra.

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Today I took a class on castration. It was all neuter me. ”’ Her father replied, ‘No, some begin with “if elected I promise…”’ Scientists today confirmed today that they are adding a new square to the periodic table. Bu: the element of surprise. I was going to buy a book on phobias, but I was afraid it wouldn’t help me. What do you call a Chinese man with a video camera? Phil Ming. ’ sticker on her car. The phone hasn’t stopped ringing since. I was having a row with my girlfriend last night and she accused me of being childish.

So I threw water over him – that woke the little fucker up. ’ What a brave little insect, taking on all those big cats single-handedly. Sometimes life throws you a curve ball and you just don’t know enough about baseball to finish the metaphor… A golfer came home in a bad mood. ’ A reporter interviewed a millionaire and asked what he was before getting married. ’ Air freshener: because there’s no louder way of telling the whole house that you’ve just had a shit. ’ He’s not pressing charges. My wife is leaving me because apparently I’m not ‘man enough’.

My mate went to bed a boy, woke up a man. Bloody coma. Why oh why don’t people poof read stuff before posting? During a geography test, our teacher told us to write down two capitals. ‘That’s too easy,’ I thought, as I wrote ‘I I’. Are you interested in making ££££ fast? Just follow this simple procedure: 1. Open a Word document. 2. Hold down the shift key. 3. Hit the ‘3’ key four times. For just £10 a month you can reduce your annual salary by £120. ’ I played poker last night with an origami expert.

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